Some ideas for life coaching
To be both effective and fulfilled in our personal and professional lives today, we need to be learning continuously about ourselves, other people, and the many facets of our businesses and our careers. You can do that through many avenues. One method is life coaching.
What is life coaching?
There are many approaches to coaching. Organizational coaching seeks to improve performance, productivity, or teamwork and views the coach as the expert who motivates and gives advice. There are specialty coaches who focus on sales, business, or career. Life coaching looks at a person's whole life to assess the level of fulfillment and balance, and assists the person in discovering who she is and who she wants to be. Life coaching focuses on moving toward a desired future, rather than focusing on the past. Life coaching helps the person integrate the multiple facets of life and live congruently in the many roles he plays.
One model of life coaching is Co-active Coaching which has four "cornerstones": 1) the client is naturally creative, resourceful and whole; 2) the coaching addresses the client's whole life; 3) the agenda comes from the client; 4) the relationship is a designed alliance. The most important step in a new coaching relationship is to develop the alliance. From the beginning, the client experiences the coach as someone who believes in him and is committed to helping him create the life and work he desires. The power of the coaching process resides in this partnership.
How does coaching deepen our learning?
We begin with the belief that the client does not need to be "fixed" and is fully capable of realizing her full potential. Each of us is the expert on our own lives and has the answers we seek. Stop and read that sentence again. How often have you thought of yourself as the expert on your own life? What would it be like for you to see yourself that way? You have just deepened your learning by answering this question.
The difficult part is accessing those answers and recognizing them when we do. The coach is a facilitator for this discovery. Open-ended, powerful questions help peel the layers away from the issue and get at what is true for the person in that moment and helps him choose actions that are appropriate for him. Sometimes recognition is the only "action" needed and an important shift happens from that point.
Very often a major obstacle to our growth and learning is "the Gremlin." You may know the Gremlin by another name--Inner Critic, The Voice, Parental Tapes--or many others. The Gremlin will always be strongest at times of risk, transition and vulnerability. The Gremlin seeks to keep things the same. If you were to grow, expand your life, move forward, the Gremlin would be out of a job! What makes the Gremlin such a tough opponent is that we think it is a part of ourselves speaking up to keep us focused on reality, practicalities, etc. To move forward, the Gremlin must be identified and seen as separate from us. Think of a time you heard these words inside your head: "What makes you think you can do that? Who do you think you are?" That was your Gremlin speaking! The coach works with you to honor the Gremlin's past contribution to your life, as you ask it for a new relationship, one in that you can move ahead and take risks which will deepen your learning about yourself and life.
How do you find a coach?
First, ask yourself what your primary focus is for the coaching work you want to do? Then ask, "How committed am Ito doing this work and making this investment?"
Once you have the answers, do your research and find several coaches to interview. Ask about their credentials, their style of coaching and fees. Ask them for sample sessions by phone or in person to assess their approaches, capabilities and your rapport with them. This is an important investment you are making in yourself!
The International Coaches Federation (ICF) [www.coachfederation.org] currently has 3500 members, and estimates that there are between 10,000 and 15,000 coaches worldwide. The ICF sets standards for coach training schools and certification, and maintains a referral listing which can be accessed from the website as well as information on local ICF chapters. Other sources are local papers, networking groups, and professional training organizations, as well as friends and relatives who have coaches.
Linda M. David, CPPC. David is a life coach and training consultant in private practice in Alexandria, VA.
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